


Magneto: STOP HOARDING TOILET PAPER

by Quill18



Series: Voices of Genosha [3]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - House of M, Crack Treated Seriously, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Gen, Genosha, Humor, Magneto Reacts to Toilet Paper Hoarders, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Quarantine, toilet paper - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:15:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24884437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quill18/pseuds/Quill18
Summary: While Genosha is quarantined to keep the Legacy Virus at bay, Magneto is exasperated at the toilet paper hoarders.
Relationships: Emma Frost & Erik Lehnsherr
Series: Voices of Genosha [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1396801
Kudos: 12





	Magneto: STOP HOARDING TOILET PAPER

**Author's Note:**

  * For [feathershollyandgolly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feathershollyandgolly/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23490421) by [feathershollyandgolly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/feathershollyandgolly/pseuds/feathershollyandgolly). 



> Inspired by Covid 2020 pandemic and all the toilet paper shortages -_______-  
> Voice acted by https://secretlymagneto.tumblr.com/ (Regular voice actor for Magneto, RadMax is unable to record at the time. He needs to move to the basement first for optimal sound performance.)  
> SecretlyMagneto's fic linked above, is what inspired this PSA!

Original Tumblr Thread: <https://quill18fandom.tumblr.com/post/614536587899027456/fic-or-drawing-request-magneto-reacting-to-toilet>

Sound file: <https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CXLQDP8cEKy0uTFyw7_Qd3fL_FOLe1a2/view>

“Citizens, Residents, Visitors

Why.

Just….why.

Why must you hoard the toilet paper?

Our beloved Emma Frost has informed me of this hoarding tendency among you, my beloved people.

You do NOT need that much toilet paper, our great nation has supplied our housing with bidets! Bidets attached to heated toilets. Self-cleaning toilets!

What needs to be wiped that requires that many rolls?!

It is not disinfectant wipes, it will not sterilize anything!

A household of three does not need thirty-six rolls!

Under regular demand, our human workforce can produce enough toilet paper for everyone! But at this rate of consumption, our markets are in danger of toilet-paper shortages! After all, only the most needed of workers are allowed out of their homes and the toilet paper workforce is not one of them!

And with the world’s supply chains laid low by the Legacy Virus pandemic, do not expect any more imported deliveries of toilet paper!

Many of our citizens and residents are risking their lives in making sure our supplies of food, medicine and household items is not interrupted, producing what we need and delivering them to our homes. You put them at risk with these ridiculous demands of toilet paper deliveries! And there is only so many drones to go around!

Use the bidets our nation has provided!

….Genosha.

We protect our own.

Even the toilet paper hoarders.”


End file.
